Query writing is driving me mad, #1 in a series

Oh, nobody tells you condensing 69,000 words of novel into a one-page letter is as easy as walking on a greased tightrope over a pit of piranhas. I’ve developed a USP, leveraged my marketing synergy and gone (more) mad, but it’s 95% there, and just in time for open submissions at a big publisher. Hurrah.

Miss Write is the best blog to keep me sane, though. If you’re interested in my answers…

1) The second book work-in-progress is 38,783 with no discernible ending. But it has a title. Priorities, yeah?

2) At the moment, a mashup of Tomorrow People and Mysterious Cities of Gold, because first draft.

'Hold tight, kids, she's throwing similes at us.'

‘Hold tight, kids, she’s throwing similes at us.’

3) I failed at making toast this morning 😦 (The 4am bedtime may be to blame there.)

4) Sleep is for the weak. E-numbers are tasty.

5) Spend 90 minutes watching sportball with me -> shove food into face -> accept 4am creative writing dribblings.

6) This one’s easy to sum up…

venn-diagram-narcissism-art-self-doubt

THIS IS AMAZING. (5 minutes later) I SUCK AT EVERYTHING.

7) ‘Pete, can you trek up to this castle in the middle of winter so I can research brickwork?’ We’re also currently in a contest to see if his IBM Model M or my old HP PS/2 keyboard is noisier. (New technology? In this house?)

Oh, and creating characters really is literary multiple personality disorder writ large. There’s probably a whole post brewing just on this, but it’s like herding children around all day. If children steal beer from your fridge, play punk music at high volume and get in a huff with your husband when he comes in and imitates them in a silly voice.

no

How about you just go off and do some geeky shit or whatever while I stare sullenly into middle distance.

 

8) I am fortunate enough to be grounded a bit in the real world on account of having a freelance day job and the taxing demands of brazen huswifery. I am also fortunate that my long-suffering husband probably ate into the mortgage fund to feed my mulled wine addiction.

9) Actually, Pete has started blogging more and writing about arty things I keep taking him to (like this weird and wonderful place ). And he has one of those ‘regular’ jobs that involves sitting down at a desk at 9am and leaving it at 5pm. I don’t understand this odd concept, I have to say.

Your day job doesn’t involve Tumblr, daytime TV and YA shows on Amazon Prime? I…HOW DO YOU LIVE?

 

10) I tried with the outfit. He refused.

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