Brains are weird things. And they’re really at their weirdest in migraine season, which strikes me monthly but has decided to pick a different week to usual, WITH HILARIOUS CONSEQUENCES. Read on for a neurobiolological tale of woe…
I have migraines with aura, although strictly speaking I don’t get the cool Quantel-style visual effects these days. But I do get a whole host of bizarre symptoms, which to the casual onlooker might look like I was either drunk or having a stroke. (Which, unhelpfully, I might be.) Normally, I’m good at spotting the symptoms and applying sumatriptan to the problem, a magical pill that pokes your serotonin in ways I don’t understand. Yesterday, though, the migraine snuck in like some unwanted adjectives…
Me: *editing furiously*
Hand: *stops functioning*
Me: That’s odd.
Face: *stops functioning*
I decided it was just a glitch in the Matrix and carried on. Until it was bedtime, and my long-suffering OH saw me jabbing scissors into one arm with no ill effects, then jabbing them into the other and going ‘OW FUCK’.
OH: What are you doing?
Me: Checking to see if I have a… y’know… a brain thing…
OH: [flatly] You’ve forgotten words again, haven’t you?
Ah yes, aphasia. Literally not understanding how to word, and having to point at things like the TV and ask your OH to turn on the ‘square picture thing’ in the corner. You might say this isn’t a useful thing to happen to someone who uses words for a living. WHICH IS CORRECT.
It’s even less useful when, as well as not being able to feel body parts, not being able to form words, and slurring your speech so much you sound like Sean Connery after a bender, you have a manic upswing (another fun symptom) the day after, resulting in a lot of unfocused writing and super-powered housework that would make a 40s housewife on Dexedrine go ‘woah, slow down a bit’. On the plus side, I’ve basically sorted all my Christmas cards and presents, jotted down a new idea, written an article for the lovely Raspberry Pi lot, and generally felt good about life. So, (up)swings and roundabouts.
Next on Blogmas, probably another short piece, as it’s the triumphant return of everyone’s favourite Twitter Friday hour, #UKYAChat. Oh yes!